


The (Not So) Golden King

by Laurana117



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Beards, Jötunn Loki, King Thor, M/M, Politics, Pseudo Incest, fake relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-15
Packaged: 2018-05-13 03:57:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5693704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurana117/pseuds/Laurana117
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki doesn’t stop the coronation and Thor is crowned King. In fact, Loki has full faith in his brother because Loki did the right thing and communicated his concerns with their Father Odin who promised he would make sure to teach Thor the ins and outs of ruling.<br/>~<br/>Then Odin fell into an inconvenient Odinsleep.<br/>~<br/>Suddenly Loki, Sif, and Thor are all thrown into a world in which Thor is ruling without help from Odin and is relying on their help. Sif ends up as Thor’s beard, while he rules Asgard she is forced to be nothing more than arm candy and a political advisor. While Loki is forced to lead the Armies as Thor’s life is too valuable to risk.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A theme in a lot of stories on here is to have Thor valiantly give up the political side of ruling in favor of taking over the army and letting Loki rule. I'm pretty sure I've done it in my own stories haha. And things like that make me think 'what if'? I've actually been thinking of this story for months and haven't figured out how to write it. Until chugging way too much caffeine 
> 
> Fun fact: I teach a political science class so I sort of nerd out over politics and government (they are different things) and I tried to tone it down in this story.

Thor and Loki had been mending their relationship over the last few years.

Loki had given up his childish want for the throne in favor of becoming somewhat of a recluse and learning magic, and Thor had grown less boisterous and arrogant.

They had tentatively started hanging out together and were friendly again.

Thor could not have been more elated. His coronation was fast approaching and he was nervous, but knowing that Loki believed in him made it alright.

The coronation had been a dream, their Father had seemed so proud, their Mother wept with happiness and Loki had looked downright delectable in his ceremonial garb.

Thor had been giving the most valiant efforts to stop this incestuous obsession with his brother but it hadn’t quite happened yet.

But on Thor’s shining day it was easy to pretend that all he wanted to do was feast with his brother instead of on him.

~

Loki traversed through the drunken Aesir while nursing his own cup of wine. He didn’t feel as anxious as he had been feeling the last few weeks. Thor was by no means completely ready to be King yet, but he hadn’t looked like a complete arrogant fool while being crowned. He had even spared Loki a wink which had been a kind gesture.

Everyone knew that Loki’s place in the court was tenuous now that Thor was King. After all, if anything were to happen to Thor the throne would fall instantly to Loki.

Strangely that didn’t sound enticing anymore. Loki didn’t want anything happening to his brother. And he didn’t want the throne anymore.

The whispers about Thor had become especially concerning lately. A lot of the older Aesir were very concerned about Thor taking the throne.

They worried that Thor would march them off into a war as soon as he could given his arrogance and cockiness. Thor just wanted glory on the battlefield.

They needn’t have worried about Thor on the battlefield.

~

Sif watched Thor and Loki circle the banquet hall. Thor was loud and boisterous and happy, Loki was cracking a smile here and there and telling charming stories.

They knew how to work a crowd, like true politicians.

No one other than Loki Odinson would have been able to turn Aesir sentiments upside down. Everyone used to think magic womanly and scary, and Loki’s lack of physique and experience in battles made him weak like a woman. Like Thor’s sister.

But over the last few years Loki had come out of his shell a bit. He wore a mask at these spectacle events, when everyone was looking at the royal family with envy, scorn, admiration, or just curiosity. And Loki had managed to craft an image of himself that was charming and alluring, she still couldn’t tell if he knew how unconsciously sexual he was. Sif had known Loki all her life and the persona he wore at these public events and feasts was really made up of his most extroverted features, sheer force of will, alcohol and the best parts of himself.

It was amazing how Loki had changed public sentiment toward himself. And Sif was slightly envious.

She was an outsider like him, a woman given to fighting? A female warrior?

Yet most people stayed away from her. They feared her. The woman had no idea what to say to her, the woman feared her might, Thor never wanted to disrespect her, and Loki had always made his distaste of her well known.

She watched Loki talking to some of the most agrarian landlords, who had nothing intellectual to talk about, and thus little to interest the trickster. Yet Loki made them guffaw and clap him on the back. The man was a mastermind.

Thor’s persona was less obvious than Loki’s. But Sif really knew him and he was smarter than he let on. He was nowhere near Loki’s level of sheer genius and cunning, Sif was convinced no one was. But Thor pretended to be simpler around the subjects.

He was relatable and set them at ease.

Odin had done a good job crafting some politicians and Sif was glad that they would remain in the political side of things. Sif had no energy for such things, people pleasing and compromise had no place on the battlefield.

She hoped she would remain an important part of Thor’s military.

~

Thor’s first few weeks of ruling were a dream come true.

His Father helped him manage all the councils and work he had to get done which was a surprisingly excessive amount of everything.

Thor swore that every waking moment was full of reading reports or legislation or meeting lords and dignitaries.

It was exhausting, and Thor couldn’t imagine doing it without his Father’s help.

Loki helped too. He sat at Thor’s right side during many meetings and offered advice or a sarcastic comment that made the room feel lighter during the heavy discussions.

Then the Odinsleep happened.

Thor might have silently panicked at the thought of ruling without his Father. But he put on a brave face and attended the meetings anyway. And when Loki put a frail hand on his arm and asked if all was well Thor was able to smile at him and reassure his brother.

But in reality Thor had no idea what he was doing.

How do you know which way to levy taxes in a good harvest year, if the last two were poor?

How does one know if a report of bandits is worthy of sending a force of soldiers out?

How does one take dinner with the elves knowing they don’t eat meat and don’t drink and the Asgardian kitchens are woefully unprepared for it?

How does one budget to fix the wing of the castle Loki accidentally blew up trying to create a fertility potion for plants?

It was stressful.

Strangely no one was angry with Loki when they found out he was trying to create a way for a plentiful harvest so no one would starve, and instead their anger fell to Thor. Why were the rains so bad? Thor controlled the weather after all. He needed to learn how to control his emotions better.

And then war with the Ilenida broke out.

The Ilenida were a small tribe of people who had been a thorn in their side for years. They lived very far away from Bilskenir and had been causing a lot of trouble. They had overtaken a small farming village and Thor needed to mobilize the troops.

He was excited about it. He been stuck inside the stuffy castle for months, it was high time he got out and saw some action.

Until the council stopped him. Thor was on his way to his horse with Loki and Sif trailing behind him worryingly, they had not been there for the report that the Ilenida were attacking and wanted all the details before Thor took off.

“We apologize for this King Thor. But we cannot allow you to go into battle.” Bjorn, one of the most senior members of the council said before Thor could enter the stables.

“What? You have to, I’m the King.” Thor sputtered.

“Yeah, legally, if Thor wants to go into battle then he can.” Loki said from over Thor’s shoulder.

“You are correct my Prince. However, we have advisory privilege so stop the King from doing anything life threatening. We have the right to stop King Thor from putting his life in danger until he has procured an heir for the throne.”

Thor looked down at Loki for confirmation. Was this true? Because if so then who would lead the army? Sif was capable, but Thor was worried about rampant hatred for women. Many of the soldiers were unable to see past Sif’s gender and see her warrior heart.

Loki looked up at Thor and Thor was momentarily mesmerized by green eyes and how pale Loki was. He was lovely.

“They have the right.” Loki said.

“Then what am I to do?” Thor asked in an urgent tone. “I cannot lead the army, but Asgardians are starving and in danger, someone has to save them!”

“Of course your highness.” Bjorn began. “We would not allow the horrors to continue. That is why we have decided that Prince Loki will lead the armies.”

Thor’s jaw dropped. The Council had officially lost their mind. How could they think that _Loki_ was ready to lead the armies? Loki was small and precious and sacred, he couldn’t go into battle! Thor had been keeping Loki out of most of the battles for fear of his delicate brother’s life.

“You jest.” Sif growled from Thor’s other side.

“Not about important matters.” Bjorn said. “Loki is second in line for the throne, other than Frigga he is the most royal person in the court other than Thor. If anyone has a right to lead the armies then it is Loki. Thor’s life is too important to risk in frivolous battle and he needs to stay safe.”

“I don’t.” Loki’s voice was small and full of emotion.

Thor looked down and saw all the color had drained from Loki’s face. He looked small and afraid. When had Loki grown so thin? Thor now looked at him with a warrior’s eye and his heart almost stopped. How could the Council do this to Loki?

Thor reached out and laid a hand on Loki’s shoulder. Turning Loki to see him.

“You do not have to accept.” Thor said very quietly. “Please don’t.”

“Tyr has defected. Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun all need to remain here as your knights.” Loki murmured. He swallowed nervously. “I am the only choice. The only person you can trust with this.” His green eyes flashed. “I have to.”

Without thinking Thor pulled Loki into an embrace. He felt like crying.

When Thor let go Loki sighed then straightened his shoulders and walked to where the troops were. His eyes were dull, like a man tasked with a horrible fate.

“He will be safe.” Sif said quietly. “You know him, it is impossible to hurt him. He is strong in ways that we aren’t.” Usually Sif was the last person to defend Loki, and hearing her say this made Thor want to cry. They were finally reconciling their differences, yet at great cost.

“Now that Loki has taken over his responsibilities, I need to speak to you Lady Sif.” Bjorn said.

“What do you have to say to me?” Sif asked. “As far as I am concerned, you have just made a terrible mistake. We’re in danger of losing to the Ilenida now, and losing a Prince. What kind of decision have you made? Prince Loki has never been on the field of battle before now, and you expect him to lead!” Her voice got louder the more she said. “He could _die_ because of you!”

“We would not have made Prince Loki the leading General if he were not ready.” Bjorn said calmly.

“You have just forced my Brother to fight my battles. What else do you have up your sleeve?” Thor asked.

Bjorn stepped forward and took both their hands in his. “Politics I’m afraid.” His face was too calm.

~

Sif felt like punching Bjorn Holfson. How dare he send the most unqualified person to lead the armies? And permanently from the sounds of it?

Because there was no way Thor was producing an heir anytime soon. Sif knew Thor, and marriage and children were off the table for a very long time.

“Politics I’m afraid.” Bjorn said in his weasel tones.

“Get on with it.” Sif growled. “I am a warrior, not some pawn.”

Bjorn raised an eyebrow at her. “You had best learn to watch your tongue in our presence. The Council has existed longer than your meager existence and unlike you and your manly qualities we are actually useful.”

Thor bristled beside her.

Bjorn held up a hand. And Sif was impressed by Thor’s self control, this pompous man had just sent Loki to his doom and insulted Sif and Thor hadn’t hit him yet. Thor had matured.

“The people are not happy.” Bjorn said. “They think you are foolish and naïve. Not ready to rule.”

Sif watched as Thor’s eyes widened. Apparently Thor hadn’t known.

Loki and Sif had agreed to keep those rumors as far away from Thor as possible, knowing how much work Thor was putting into this. They hadn’t wanted him to know about this.

Damn Bjorn Holfson.

“You need a distraction. Which is why we need Sif.” Bjorn said.

“What do you mean?” Sif asked aggressively.

“You two are to appear as if in a relationship. It will give the commoners something to gossip about, as well as a topic other than Loki’s new appointment as head general. Sif you are now Thor’s chief advisor and bedmate. And will likely remain as so until he is married.”

“Are you mad?” She was a warrior. Not some woman to drape on Thor’s arm! Plus she had no brain or love for petty politics.

“It is the best solution.”

“Did my Father have a ‘chief advisor’ and bed warmer?” Thor asked angrily. “Or is it that you too think that I am unworthy?”

“Before he married Queen Frigga Odin’s chief advisor was former head general Tyr.” Bjorn said.

Sif’s mind went to a blank. “Did he and Odin-“

Bjorn merely nodded. “It was a different time.” He said simply. “And until Thor is married Sif will fill Tyr’s old role.”

Sif looked at Thor and saw a man who had no idea what he was doing. She looked down the hall Loki had gone and knew there was a man there who had no idea what he was doing. And then she looked at herself and knew that she was also someone who had no idea what she was doing.

Should they trust Bjorn?

Sif looked to Thor. Her King and it was with fear, because Odin had always been so regal. So composed. He had been authoritarian.

Whereas Sif knew Thor. She knew him as a best friend should, and she knew he was scared. He didn’t know what to do.

And she was afraid.


	2. Chapter 2

To say that Loki was unprepared to lead an army into battle was a bit of an understatement.

He really felt like this whole thing was going to be a mistake. But as Bjorn had been so lovely as to state, Thor legally couldn’t put his life in danger until he was married and had an heir.

And that wouldn’t happen for a while.

And part of Loki didn’t want it to happen for a while. He liked all the power he held over his brother and a wife would no doubt put an end to that. Plus Loki liked hogging Thor mostly to himself.

So Loki was stuck leading the armies. It could be a worse fate that was for sure.

He’d read about battles. How hard would it be to lead one?

Apparently very hard.

Loki rode out to the settlement, with a small group of soldiers. They had been shocked to see him, but surprisingly once he put the helm of the lead General on they listened to his commands. Loki would have to check it for latent seidr later.

The settlement was not easy to siege. They had fortified it very well, with walls and a moat and the hostage situation made everything trickier. If the Ilenida saw any approaching soldiers they would set fire to the building the citizens of the settlement were in.

Loki could do a lot with his magic, but stopping a building from burning was not one of his skills.

He could cast an illusory spell on a couple soldiers, sneak in and set the civilians free and then summon the rest to siege and hope they beat the Ilenida.

Loki was sitting atop a hill overlooking the settlement when Wulfric, one of the higher ranking soldiers took a seat next to him. From what Loki remembered Wulfric and Sif were in a secret alliance, as he often spoke up for her and lobbied for her to take charge on attacks.

He must not be happy with the turn of events.

“If we attack from the west we might have enough time to cut a large enough hole in the barn and let the civilians through.” Wulfric said. “It’s a gamble, but I think it could work.”

Loki shook his head. “They would hear us approaching.”

“You could teleport us into the middle of the village and let us fight it out.” Wulfric suggested. “Sif said you could do that.”

“I can but it’s risky. With as many soldiers as we have I might accidentally teleport someone into a wall and kill them.” Loki said. I was thinking more espionage.”

Wulfric raised an eyebrow. “I’m listening.”

“I can cast an illusion hiding a few men from sight, and we can sneak in undetected. Once we are in the settlement we would free the civilians lower the drawbridge and then start fighting while the civilians escaped.” Loki drew a small diagram while he spoke. “I can send up a flare of sorts to signal the rest of the men to swarm the settlement and help the civilians.”

Wulfric looked. “How will you send the flare if you are here?”

Loki looked up. “I’ll lead the assault of course.” He said in confusion. He was the commanding officer, he should lead. Why wouldn’t he?

“It’s going to be dangerous.” Wulfric said quietly.

Loki raised a brow. “I am well aware of that fact. However, the safety of the civilians in that settlement is more important than my own. And I’m going to save them.”

Wulfric looked surprised. “Alright then. Your plan sounds good.”

Loki nodded. “I’ll need your advice on who to take with me. I need the best men for the job who will also listen to my command.”

Loki didn’t actually need Wulfric’s help, he had just learned over the years the art of stroking ego.

Wulfric stroked his chin. “I would suggest myself, but I want to remain here with the other men in case anything happens to you I am immediately in charge. But other than me I would suggest Svadi, Aeduil, Edwin, and Mamar.”

Loki knew them. They were good men they had been serving his Father for years. Hopefully they would continue serving him.

Loki gathered those men and explained his plan to them. They nodded their consent but seemed otherwise a little concerned about trusting Loki’s magic.

But Loki was in command. He had the helm to prove it. He was head of the army now, and these men were now under his command.

They gathered all their supplies and then headed out. Before they left the cover of trees Loki uttered the enchantment rendering all of them invisible.

They reached the walls of the settlement and Loki watched as his men became a human ladder and let him scale up the wall first. It was remarkable. Once they were all inside Loki led them silently to the barn where the civilians were.

They had to be silent when Ilenida guards walked around.

Once they were at one of the walls of the barn Loki kept watch while Aeduil and Edwin cur away the brittle walls and they were greeted with the scared faces of the over fifty settlers in the village.

Loki made himself visible for just a moment and held a finger up to his lips, gesturing for them to follow him. Mamar and Svadi had already managed to lower the draw bridge and the alarms had been raised.

Then the fighting started.

Loki had some experience with combat, he was a son of Odin after all.

He just hadn’t been ready for the full scale battle that broke out.

Loki turned the corner around the building and was met with iron, luckily he dodged and in an acrobatic motion he drew a knife and hurled it. He heard it _squish_ into the flesh of the man and knew the Ilenidans weren’t wearing thick armor.

This was such a peasant dispute, yet since the Ilenida had attacked direct citizens of the crown Loki had to act.

Another man charged at Loki and the fight broke out. Loki was outnumbered, but he was quick and strong after years of training himself. He knew his strengths and weaknesses, but he wished he had spent more time in the training ring with Thor over the years. Because this could get ugly.

Loki let small tendrils of his magic seep out of him and extend his awareness. This way no one would be able to sneak up on him, and three more Ilenida approached to attack.

For some reason the sight of the blood on the ground, the blood Loki had drawn from the enemies as well as his own sparked something in him.

Adrenaline rushed through his veins and his attacks got more feral.

“Loki!” Someone called and between slicing down the side of one Ilenida and taking a stab to his own side Loki looked up to see Wulfric rushing toward him.

Wulfric fought his way through the thong and put his back to Loki’s, and the fought together.

The rest of the battle was a blur of adrenaline and bloodlust, something Loki had little experience with. In fact, he would normally be very perplexed at losing some of the iron strong control he held over himself normally.

And then to his absolute shock, he threw himself in front of a blade meant for Wulfric.

Loki didn’t even think twice.

It was a bad wound, it pierced him dangerously close to the abdomen, where many man had been stabbed before.

Wulfric quickly slew the one responsible and grabbed Loki who was swaying on his feet.

Loki had a new wound near his gut, two slices on his left side, his right forearm burned every time it moved and several bruises.

Once he saw that they were winning the battle he smiled thinking _Thor would be proud._

And then Loki passed out.

~

Seeing Loki being brought into the healing ward was the worst part of Thor’s day. It was misery hearing the old men in the council lauding Loki’s success in battle when they clearly knew his life clung to him like a thread.

Wulfric had been the one to tell Thor how Loki had accepted the near fatal attack in place of Wulfric.

Thor was livid. He would be speaking to Loki once his brother awoke about acceptable risks and how idiotic that was.

The commanding officer never needs to take a blow in the place of an inferior troop.

Thor was on his way to the healing chamber, having heard that Loki had woken up but stopped when he heard voices inside.

“I wanted to thank you for saving my best friend’s life.” A deep masculine voice said. “Wulfric and I have been serving Odin All-Father for years and even thinking about not having him makes my heart ache. So thank you, and if anyone says anything about you as our leader they’ll hear from my fist personally.”

“Well thank you, Aethel. You did a remarkable job helping the citizens, the whole operation hinged on your success.” Loki’s voice sounded thin and tired.

Thor froze. Had Loki planned this? Had he planned to take a blow for an influential officer in the hopes of gaining the troops loyalty?

Because if so that was genius.

Incredibly stupid, but genius.

Thor waited for Aethel to leave and then let himself into the healing room.

Loki looked like death on the small bed. His pale body was covered in bandages and bruises. His face had deep circles under his eyes.

“We were victorious.” Loki said happily.

“I heard.” Thor said as he took a seat. He looked Loki over. “But at great cost.”

“It was not so bad.” Loki closed his eyes. “I could sleep for a year.”

“You’ll get the chance.” Thor said.

Loki’s eyes shot open. “What do you mean? I will not need that long to recover, surely!”

“I’m removing you as my chief general.” Thor said. The next sentence was a growl, “It is too dangerous.”

“Don’t be stupid Thor! You need someone you can trust leading the army. Who else is there to do it?”

“I will find someone. Someone more capable.”

“Are you saying I am _incapable?_ That’s rich, coming from you!”

“You very nearly died, and I cannot allow that to happen!” Thor roared back.

“I’ll have you know that I can take care of myself. I’ll only get better at this military thing.” Loki fired back.

Thor grabbed his forehead feeling a headache coming on. He and Loki really didn’t have time to fight like children again and Thor had to admit to himself that some of his anger was because Loki was so idiotic about his safety. And maybe Thor’s regard was a step too far into his inappropriate feelings toward his little brother.

Loki did have a point about Thor needing someone to lead the army who was trustworthy. And with Tyr gone there weren’t too many candidates.

Thor thought of Sif. Her perfect beauty and masculinity, if only she were a man then she could lead the armies.

And Thor looked down at Loki. His beauty seemingly untouched even by all the wounds on him. If only Loki were a woman, then Thor could marry him and keep him safe forever.

But for now it appeared that Thor was stuck in some sick parody of his desires. Where Sif was pretending to be his bed-warmer and Loki had to risk his life constantly just to keep the kingdom safe because Thor couldn’t.

Thor took Loki’s hand. “Very well. I will leave you to the armies, but no more of this reckless behavior. I was surprised to hear you had taken a hit meant for another. You must be more careful brother.”

Loki rolled his eyes but his smile when he looked up at Thor was genuine.

~

It took Loki two days before he was well enough to walk around.

And once he was Thor threw a huge feast for them all. The hordes of soldiers were invited, as well as the councils that ate up Thor’s time and the nobles of Thor’s court.

It was surreal, experiencing a celebration in his honor.

Loki sat on Thor’s left and watched as bards sang of Loki’s cunning and the glory Loki won over the Ilenida.

He tried to keep the shock off his face as they sang more of his valor.

It was difficult.

But it was even more difficult to watch Thor and Sif groping each other.

Sif kept sliding a hand down into Thor’s lap and touching him and Thor would just laugh heartily and kiss her. It was disgusting.

Loki tried to focus on his food and on the celebrations but it was increasingly difficult with that horror happening next to him.

Thor must have been too stressed with the new kingship, and Loki guessed that he had taken Sif to bed as some form of stress relief. Sif, being the first to always try and please Thor was obviously very happy with the proceedings.

And Loki felt disgusted and… jealous.

He wanted to be the one Thor confided in. Loki knew how much stress Thor was under as King, and he wanted to be the shoulder Thor leaned on.

And it was kind of insulting to know that Loki had been out risking his life so that Thor could keep the throne, and Thor had repaid him by taking Sif to his bed.

But that was unfair to think, there was no way Thor would ever guess the extent of Loki’s feelings.

It would be in Loki’s best interest to ignore them. Thor was happy with Sif. Sif would do a fine job helping Thor rule.

Loki had an army now, and soldiers don’t get what they want.


End file.
